Home Uncategorized ‘Am I Money?’ #10 – Teresa’s Got Spunk & 6 Yrs Experience – Is It Enough, Or Too Much?

‘Am I Money?’ #10 – Teresa’s Got Spunk & 6 Yrs Experience – Is It Enough, Or Too Much?

4

teresaHi CAREEREALISM Team!

I just caught a tweet from you guys about your “Am I Money?” rating program and I couldn’t resist. I’ve been wondering how I come off to employers online and I’d love some feedback. Thank you!

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/teresabasich
Twitter: @TransitionalTee
Cover Letter
Resume

Thanks again!
Teresa Basich


Hi Teresa,

I love the energy you project in your career materials and I think you’ve got some wonderful experience. What’s nice is you are in the career ‘sweetspot’ in that you’ve got several years of professional experience under your belt (you’re not a newbie), but aren’t going to be demanding too high of a salary. So, when presented right, employers are going to see you as not just talented, but someone who could be molded into a future leader. I’m definitely going to give you a 4.0 and say you can quickly and easily get that to a “5.0 Money Status” in no time!

Here’s what I suggest:

RE LinkedIn Profile – The fact that you have 4 recommendations is excellent! Keep striving for more of those and work on expanding your network beyond your 63 connections. Don’t be afraid to reach out to strangers you admire and ask for the connection! I’d add your picture so that your brand is consistent across all social media. Also, consider shortening up some of your bullet points for each job and provide numbers as a way to validate/quantify your experience. People read, and more importantly, REMEMBER numbers on career credential more than anything else.

RE Resume – I love how you put your major job skills across the top, however, I would drop the adjectives beneath it (creative, team-player, etc.) which, for many hiring managers, are going to be viewed as too subjective. While I have no doubt you are creative, that is your opinion, not an objective fact. Also, even though it’s meant to be positive, it can be viewed as over-confident. Instead, to create the same affect but in a more professional fashion, I’d consider revamping your bulleted career highlights you’ve listed beneath that. Consider replacing them with shorter bullets in two columns that list all your major skill sets within your area of expertise.

As far as the body of the resume, it looks good, but the bullets are too long. I’d find a way to shorten them up by adding stats and numbers and reducing the word count. Say more with less so their eyes can easily scan and interpret the depth of your skills.

Finally, I opened your resume and it broke out two two pages, carrying over just a single line to the next page. Avoid this problem by always sending a PDF version of your resume to retain the formatting and keep it to the one page.

RE Cover Letter – This was my FAVORITE part of your career tools. The opening is original and grabs the reader’s attention. Moreover, it truly showcases your personality. Direct and spunky, it reads upbeat and full of energy. And yet, because you are going into marketing, I’d like to see you design this as more of a marketing piece. I’d actually focus on formatting it with some bolded text to make it read even stronger. For example, I’d indent and list your three “FACT” references on separate lines to draw the eye in. Additionally, in the section where you bullet how their skill requests match your experience, I’d bold the first sentence that references what they asked for. Cover letters do not need to be a traditional letter format, especially since it’s clear your strength is that you aren’t traditional – show them what you’ve got!

RE Your Writing Style – Again, let me preface this by saying I really like have you’ve personalized your materials through your writing. However, I’d alter two sentences in the cover letter that come off too strong for me. First, I’d tone down the “I’m your girl,” comment. It’s a bit too comfortable/casual for a cover letter. I know you want to show your enthusiasm, but I’d say the rest of the text accomplishes that. I suggest saying, “Here’s some proof that I’m ready to join the ____ team.”

Second, the “You’ve probably had more than enough applicants for this position, but I truly feel you can stop your search after talking to me,” is most likely going to be misinterpreted as over-confident, and possibly even a little self-important. I’d change that to something like, “I can imagine how many applications you’ve received for this job, but I promise I will make meeting me worth your time!” This delivers the same energy, but is a bit more respectful.

I’m so glad you submitted your materials to ‘Am I Money?’ because you are wonderful example of someone who understand they need to personalize themselves. I just want to make sure your energy and enthusiasm gets properly interpreted. Best wishes, although I have no doubt you’ll be in a great role in no time.

Now I’ll ask all the career experts reading this to feel free to add any comments below. The more viewpoints and perspective we can give passionate job seekers like Teresa, the better!

Chat with us below!


comments

Work It Daily This career advice site provides daily personal branding tips and job search advice from approved career experts and businesses to over 1,000,000 visitors each month.