GRRRR! Is this person dedicated to make you mad? You know this person, every interaction with them leaves you ticked off and annoyed. They may do things that simply flip your switch or leave you spinning for the rest of the day. An irritating co-worker can do anything from bugging you because they smell bad to saying demeaning things to you. The range of behavior can be vast. How do you deal with someone so they don’t completely spoil each day at work?
Here are some tips to help you with this situation:
1. Realize It’s Not About You
While it may seem like the person has a personal issue with you, most of the time a person’s behavior is more about how they feel about him or herself. Try as best you can to not take what they say personally. They may not even be aware of what they are doing or even why they are doing it. They are more interested in their own experience.
2. Avoid Them
You’d be surprised to realize that if you put your mind to it, you can probably cut down on the amount and frequency of your interactions with this person. Even if they parade into your office, be too busy to stop what you’re doing. Ask them to e-mail or leave a note with their request or information. When you reduce your interaction with someone it often improves your interaction with them. You are reducing the impact to you personally when you reduce your contact. Less contact = less opportunity to irritate.
3. Figure Out What Really Irritates You
You may not know why they bug you, so it’s best to figure out what specific behavior they do that get you going. I used to have a person descend on me and make all kinds of demands while eating into my day in a very big way. I finally realized she didn’t really understand my job versus her job since she was kind of new. Knowing that helped me figure out a plan to curb her impact on me but you can’t fix something until you know exactly what you’re fixing.
4. Make An Improvement Plan
You may discover that, even with reducing your contact, your interactions are still unproductive. You will need to put together a plan to improve things. You first have to look to yourself at what you can do differently that may help. Can you change how you respond? Can you delay your reaction with a clear head so you can figure out how to respond most effectively? Are you doing something that causes this person to act a certain way to you?
You can only control what you do, so it’s best to look to yourself first. Naturally, you may need to engage with them, but you can’t control how they will react or if they can even make the changes necessary. Even though you may feel like a victim, there are still actions you can and should make that will help.
5. Engage Them Professionally
No matter how they may be acting toward you, you want to maintain a professional approach when dealing directly with someone difficult. This means you don’t accuse, blame, or make sweeping assumptions. You and your language should remain focused on behavior, not attitude. You want to be able to articulate what the impact is on you and how that translates into a business problem. You need to be prepared to identify specific examples so they can translate what you say into an instance they can relate to. When you do approach them, make your discussion private to spare any poor reactions from public embarrassment.
The path through our career is never that simple or straight. It would be great to think that when we are hired that we do our work, enjoy the people we work with and get promoted. You will run across irritating peers at various times and it will require you to do some thinking and planning to improve your work life.
This post was originally published at an earlier date.
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