Most people experience a very brief uplifting moment when one their achievements gets mentioned or when they’re complimented for an accomplishment by a friend, work colleague, or family member.
They hear and internalize the compliment or recognition, and feel an immediate surge of self-satisfaction and/or a sense of self-worth. Then, the moment evaporates – a brief, uplifting moment. The conversation moves on.
The manner in which we respond to hearing about someone’s good news, achievement, or accomplishment can, however, leave them with more of lasting and memorable positive sense of self-worth, a stronger sense of self-satisfaction, a heightened boost in their well-being, and can positively impact our own sense of worth and well-being as well – if we help them briefly “relive” the experience related to the accomplishment.
Try this today: When you hear about a colleague or friend’s achievement, accomplishment or “success,” respond by asking questions to help them “bring the experience back to life.”
Consider, for example, the following great responses and questions:
- “That’s great news! I’m sure you worked hard on that. Tell me what happened.”
- “That’s awesome. Tell me how you did it and how it felt when you heard the good news.”
- “Congratulations; I know you worked hard for that. Tell me the whole story.”
- “Well done; I’m not surprised at all. How did the whole thing play out?”
Seek out an understanding of…
- What your friend did?
- How he or she did it?
- How/when they heard about the recognition for their achievement?
- How they felt when they heard it?
- What they did to celebrate?
- What they plan to do to celebrate?
Help them to relive the experience and feel the good feelings again… help them bring those feelings back to life in the present moment.
You’re giving them a valuable gift with this approach. They’ll feel great… you’ll feel great… your relationship will be reinforced and strengthened as a result.
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