Dear J.T. & Dale: My fiancee and I have a problem. You see, we met at work. Dating is allowed at our company. I proposed last month, after dating for two years. The problem is that everyone at the company keeps coming up and saying how excited they are about the wedding and how much they can’t wait to go.
Well, my fiancee and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, and we’re on a tight budget and are planning a small wedding. There are a few people from work we’d love to have come, but now we’re worried that if we do that, others will be hurt. Advice? – Lewis
J.T.: How wonderful that everyone at work cares for you both so much that they want to be there to celebrate your special day. Still, you simply can’t invite the entire company, and the sooner you start telling people that, the better.
Simply say: “We’re paying for it ourselves, so we are keeping it really small. We are really disappointed, but unless we win the lottery, we just can’t swing inviting everyone.” It’s better to be honest with folks now.
DALE: Although I am completely unqualified to offer advice on wedding etiquette, there is one possible outcome that you should be prepared to encourage. When you explain the situation to your co-workers, I bet one of them will volunteer to organize an informal office party in your honor.
You could make this a lively event, perhaps re-enacting the wedding vows in some offbeat way. Not only will you not have to pay for it, you’ll get a lot of wedding presents, and your co-workers will have a better time than at a traditional ceremony.
Feel free to send questions to J.T. and Dale via e-mail at [email protected] or write to them in care of King Features Syndicate, 300 W. 57th Street, 15th Floor, New York, NY 10019.
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