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5 Questions That Determine Your Relationship Momentum

5 Questions That Determine Your Relationship Momentum

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“Opportunities, many times, are so small that we glimpse them not, and yet they are often the seeds of great enterprises.” — Og Mandino

Many people are anxiously waiting for the great idea, the key contact, or the unique opportunity that will carry them on to the next level of success in their career. I have tried to become a student of what a close friend of mine calls “walking slowly through the crowds.”

In our lives and careers, we are all in need of two things: relationships and momentum. Even if we believe this to be true, there are so many things to see and hear that most people miss. In fact, most of us walk through a crowd, (or in a general sense, walk through life), so fixated on where we want to go, what we need to accomplish, or when we need to be somewhere, that we are oblivious to our surroundings.

To one degree or another, you might be like that person waiting and watching for the opportunity to hitch a ride. On the other hand, you might be like the person walking by with a blinder, so fixated on your own agenda that you are unaware of opportunities standing by with their thumbs out. Most of us, to some extent, are in one or both situations and not recognizing the opportunities all around us. I have come to believe that I am always one introduction or acquaintance away from a life changing event for me or someone else. The key is keeping my eyes open.

The Matrix Of Relationship Momentum

We must begin to realize that opportunities are everywhere. We can’t have a scarcity mentally, we must look for an opportunity in everything and in every person. Consequently, when we take the time to walk “slowly through the crowd,” we begin to see a very different world.

A matrix in mathematics is simply a grid of numbers in rows and columns, each number being a function of other numbers in that grid. All elements within the system are dependent upon one another.

Imagine walking into an environment — a cocktail party, a coffee shop, or the lunch room at your company. While most see the setting as people moving, talking, or sitting alone, you see a complex array of gears and sprockets representing real and potential relationships among all those present. The machinery is far too complex for anyone to completely understand. But simply because you see it, you understand the tremendous Potential Energy present in every person in every crowd.

Believing , Caring, And Sharing

There are three characteristics of individuals who are able see the matrix of opportunities that underlies every crowd. One characteristic is believing and the others are caring and sharing. The first step in seeing the relationship momentum matrix is believing that you are only one person away from unlocking momentum for yourself, for someone within your sphere, or for someone with whom you come in contact.

If you don’t believe that the environment around you is swimming with possibilities, why look for them? You hear stories every now and then about the unexpected surprise that opened a door to success. But how many opportunities were missed because of the blinders or because of a preoccupation with doing business as usual?

The second characteristic is caring. There are opportunities everywhere, most of them represented by a person. What keeps people from seeing and gaining access to that matrix is a tight fixation on their own needs. They care little for anything or anyone other than the people and opportunities that will promote their agenda. If people don’t look like a key contact, they are never noticed.

The third characteristic is sharing. If you are looking for opportunities for others to share your story, resume, initiative, whatever, you must first be prepared and committed to share the story and initiatives of others.

I invite you to see the matrix for what it truly is, a system in which all elements are in a dependent relationship to one another. Please take a look at the five questions below. The act of getting someone to talk about themselves and their dreams, is the first step of unlocking the Matrix. You must have information before you can have action. After all, everyone’s favorite topic is, of course, themselves!

5 Questions Of The Relationship Momentum Matrix

1. What is your 1-3-5 year plan?
2. What is your Utopia and how do you get there?
3. What keeps you up at night?
4. Who do you want to meet?
5. What do you need yesterday? (Most people are to prideful to answer #2)

People love answering these questions. Ask these questions to anyone you meet and see the lines of the relationship matrix begin to form.

You cannot treat people as merely a means to an end. You have to sincerely care for them — for their story, for their needs, and for their dreams. People who have the ability to see and access the dynamics of a relationship matrix are those with the ability to sincerely connect with each person they meet and then decipher the lines of connection that create commerce. Try it. Unlock the matrix and watch a whole new world and a sub economy open up to you that you never thought possible.


Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Brian Church

Brian Church is the founder and Chief Executive Officer of a Consulting Firm called Ambassadors International. Brian’s book, “Relationship Momentum” is about the secret to making ideas and initiatives move. Brian lives with his wife Kimberly and son in Nashville, TN. His mission is to help Entre and Intrapreneurs activate their ideas by creating movement in a consistent direction.