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Is My Personality Ruining My Career?

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Dear Experts,

I was recently laid-off after a successful run at a company for 10 years…or so I thought. Looking back, there were times where people told me my style of communication was difficult. I always brushed it off because it seemed to come from people who weren’t very successful or good at their jobs.

A couple of times, managers mentioned my communication style in performance reviews and asked for me to try to be more understanding and patient, but then it never came up again, especially when I killed it for them that year.

However, now that I’m out looking for a job, I’m wondering if this is something I should have paid more attention to. I’ve interviewed at several places and not gotten a single job. When I called one place, they told me none of my references called them back so they gave it to another person.

Then, a friend of mine got me an interview at her firm, so when I didn’t get that job, I pressed her to tell me why I wasn’t chosen. She struggled and finally said it was my personality. The manager felt I was too aggressive and would be difficult to control. I was really surprised.

Now, I’m wondering what I should do. Is this the kind of thing I can fix, or is it too late? I’m just not sure what to think.

Here is how our T.A.P. experts answered this question:

Q#287 NEVER too late to change. You’ve been told what you need to do, repeatedly. Do it. Growing is good. (@dawnbugni)

Q#287 You can’t change the past, but you can improve the future. Work on the areas of your comm style that cause problems. (@gradversity)

Q#287 Ask 4 examples 2 learn what they mean or find position (sales is good 4 ex) n company that appreciates ur style. (@kgrantcareers)

Q#287 Pay attention; very few pple ever told truth.While hard 2 hear, u have gr8 oppty u have 2 grow! [1/2] (@juliaerickson)

Q#287 Lost of books, online resources 2 learn effecive ways 2 communicate; practice w/friend or coach. [2/2] (@juliaerickson)

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