Ah… work-life balance. It is elusive, and some would argue that it is downright impossible to achieve.
Related: 5 Time Management Secrets To Being Stress-Free
I offer a workshop on work-life balance, and it is a topic that is intriguing because it is, in fact, complicated, complex, and feels so illusive to so many. Part of the dilemma, of course, is that it means different things to different people.
What might feel balanced for one feels overwhelmingly out of balance for another.
I also believe that men and women view work-life balance differently. If you are a man, your idea of work-life balance may be that you go to work, do your job, and then you come home and hit the couch for some down time before engaging with your wife or the kids. You are happiest if no one talks to you for about an hour because you need to decompress from work. You may want to catch whatever game is on TV. You don't really care what game… you just need something to watch that can take you away, at least for a while, from the cares of the day.
If you are a man, you may also consider work-life balance as doing well at work and also having quality time with your family. Vacation time may be part of your definition of work-life balance. Having time to keep your lawn mowed and the hedges trimmed might also be part of your overall ideal of work-life balance.
For women, the ideal is more complicated, I believe. As a result, it may feel a little (or even a lot) more difficult to achieve. In spite of the fact that we live in a 2014 society where many women work outside of the home and sometimes have jobs that are even more demanding than the jobs of the men in their lives, women still carry the brunt of the work load at home.
Unless she is married to an exceptional man, the woman of the house is still mostly responsible for meal planning and preparation, laundry, childcare, and keeping the home picked up and clean. Women in a particular economic demographic may be able to hire nannies for childcare and cleaning ladies for some of the household duties, but at the end of the day, most women don't have the luxury of hiring that kind of help.
So, what does one do if they are feeling that time is slipping away and their lives are grossly out of balance? The first order of business is to recognize the problem and make a decision to do something about it. Only you have the power to make a decision about how you want to live your life. You can let life dictate how you spend it, or you can decide that you are going to take charge of your life.
It is also important to remember that work-life balance is different for everyone. Having said that, there are five things you should start doing today if you want to create a greater sense of being in control of your life:
1. Schedule time for the important things and stick to your schedule.
Stephen Covey talked about the importance of “first things first." The “first things" are your family, your friends, and your other significant relationships. Don't let those key relationships suffer because you have a busy work schedule.
2. Think in terms of what you want to achieve and for which you want to be remembered.
David Brooks offers a powerful TED Talk about the difference between living your resume and living your legacy. Understanding the distinction helps snap things into perspective. I recommend taking a few minutes to watch it and consider its message.
3. Stay healthy by taking care of yourself.
I offer a whole workshop around the things you should do in order to manage and reduce your stress. They include staying hydrated, eating well for good nutrition, getting the amount of sleep you need, working in some physical exercise, and remembering to breathe properly throughout the day. These are not new techniques that you haven't heard before… but they are important to implement each day for optimum performance—and a sense of balance—at work and home.
4. Create a practice of prayer or meditation if you don't already have one.
Increasingly, studies are showing that those who have a regular practice of meditation or prayer built into their routines are more grounded, more centered, more productive, and… happier. Wouldn't it be worth the effort to explore if the pay off were to be happier with your life?
5. Finally, don't forget the importance of having FUN!
Life isn't meant to be endured… it is meant to be enjoyed, and at the end of the day, in general, the things that bring us the most joy are times spent with our families and friends. Staying in the moment, listening to the laughter of your baby—or your grandbaby—who has just discovered her toes… watching the sun set over the horizon with that person with whom you have chosen to live your life… those are the moments that add up a life well lived… and a life in balance.
At the end of your life, someone will start pulling together the things that people want to say about you. They may or may not comment on how hard you worked and all that you achieved at work. They will most certainly talk about what type of person you were and how you made them feel.
Are you kind? Are you thoughtful? Do you make the people around you feel valued and worthwhile? Are you patient? Are you generous with either your time or your money or both? Do you care about other people? Or are you mostly interested in yourself? Do you take the time to be present when you are in a conversation, or are you thinking about where you would rather be or what you would rather be doing in that particular moment? Are you a person who will be truly missed when you are gone? What will your life legacy be?
If you haven't considered these questions, I invite you to do so now. They can help you decide how to create the life of balance that you seek even though you have a demanding job.
This post was originally published at an earlier date.
Kitty Boitnott, Ph.D., NBCT is a Certified Life Strategies and Stress Management Coach and is an ICC at CareerHMO. Disclosure: This post is sponsored by a CareerHMO coach.
Is your job search turning into a grind with no end in sight? It may be time to take a step back and reevaluate your entire approach.
In cold weather climates, the beginning of spring is a time to clean the house and get organized—a practice known as spring cleaning. Through the years, spring cleaning has taken on a larger meaning with people using the time to organize and declutter things in their lives.
For professionals on the job hunt, a little spring cleaning (metaphorically speaking) could be a great way to reinvigorate your job search. Here are a few strategies your job search spring cleaning should include.
Reevaluate Your Job Search Approach
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Make a list of the last handful of jobs you applied for and see if you can identify any positive or negative trends. Consider things like:
How did I learn about this job?
How did I apply for the job?
Did I earn an interview?
What was the ultimate result?
A lot can be learned about your job search approach just by answering these questions and identifying patterns. For example:
Negative Trends
You discovered five jobs through job boards, applied to all of them via the job boards, and never heard back from any of them.
The common pattern here is applying through job boards. This isn't to say that job boards don't serve a purpose in the job search process, but they have their limitations, and you can't run your job search entirely off of them. When you apply through a job board, there's a good chance that your materials will never get past the applicant tracking system (ATS) and never be seen by an actual person.
One simple fix is to research who the hiring manager or recruiter is that posted the position and email your materials to them directly.
The more efficient fix would be to take a proactive approach by putting together a bucket list of companies that you want to work for and start making connections on LinkedIn with people who work at those companies. You may already know some people who work there or have connections that can refer you to some individuals.
This is a great way to network your way onto a company's radar.
Positive Trends
You applied to three jobs via referral, were invited to two job interviews, and made it through multiple rounds of interviews for one of the jobs before being passed over for someone with a little more experience.
The pattern here is that getting referred to a job by a professional acquaintance is a great way to land a job interview. This indicates that you're leveraging your network well and you should continue to focus on your networking efforts.
The next step is to review the interview process and determine what went well and what needs to be improved. Sometimes the interviewer will provide feedback, and that feedback can be valuable. However, not everyone is comfortable with giving feedback.
Chances are you probably have a good idea about areas of improvement and the skills you need to gain. Put together a plan for addressing those shortfalls.
The good news in making it deep into any interview process is that it indicates that the company likes you as a potential employee (even if the timing just wasn't right) and the experience could be a roadmap to a job with that company at a later date, or another similar opportunity elsewhere.
Give Your Resume & Cover Letter Some Much-Needed Attention
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Are you continuously sending similar resumes and cover letters to each job opening with only minor adjustments? If so, your strategy needs some serious spring cleaning.
The reason why it's so important to tailor your resume is that throughout your career, you acquire numerous skills, but the job you're applying for may only be focusing on 6-8 of those skills. In that case, those skills must rise to the top of the resume with quantifiable examples of how you successfully used those skills at previous jobs.
Remember, recruiters go through hundreds of resumes. They need to be able to tell from a quick glance whether or not you're a potential candidate for the position.
While updating your resume, you could also spruce up your LinkedIn profile by highlighting the skill sets that you want to be noticed for by recruiters.
As for writing a good cover letter, the key to success is writing a disruptive cover letter. When you write a disruptive cover letter, you're basically telling a story. The story should focus on how you connect with the particular company and job position. The story could also focus on your personal journey, and how you got to where you currently are in your career.
If your resumes and cover letters aren't unique, now is the time to clean things up and get on track.
Build Your Personal Brand
Just because you're looking for work doesn't mean that you don't have anything to offer. Use previous career experiences and passions to build your personal brand.
Ask yourself, "How do I want other professionals to view me?"
Pick an area of expertise and start sharing your knowledge and experience with your professional network by pushing out content on your LinkedIn and social media accounts. Good content can include blogs, social media posts, and videos.
By sharing content about your experiences and passions, you slowly build your personal brand, and others will start to notice. The content could lead to good discussions with others in your network. It could also lead to reconnecting with connections that you haven't spoken to in years, or making new connections.
You never know when one of these connections could turn into a job lead or referral. The trick is to get on people's radars. So, when you're cleaning up your job search, be sure to build a plan for personal branding.
Maintain Healthy Habits During Your Job Search
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Your job search is important, but it's even more important to know when to pull back and focus on personal health and spending time with family and friends.
There are actually things that you can do for your own enjoyment that could help your job search in the long run, such as:
Grab coffee with a friend - It's good to engage in light conversation with friends during challenging times. And if your job search does come up, remember that most people have been through it themselves and you never know when a friend may provide you with a good idea or lead on a job.
Volunteer - Volunteering is a great way to get involved in the community and help others. In addition, if you develop a little bit of a career gap while looking for a job, you can always talk about how you filled that time volunteering, if you're asked about it during a job interview.
Continue to focus on other passions - Are you a fitness nut? Blogger? Crafter? Continue to do the things that bring you happiness. And if you're in a position to profit from your passion through a freelance job or side hustle, even better!
Spring is the perfect time to clean up and improve your job search so you can land the job you want. If you're struggling to find a job, follow the tips above to reinvigorate your job search—and watch your career blossom!
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This article was originally published at an earlier date.