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Congratulations! You're starting a new job. It’s an exciting time, sure, but also an uncertain time. There are so many questions: Will my responsibilities match the job description? Will I mesh with the new team? Will they recognize my prior experience? Will I be successful in my new role? Related: 4 Phrases Your Boss LOVES To Hear These are questions that time and on-the-job experience will answer, right? Sure... to an extent. While time and "just jumping in" with the team will ease some of those new-hire insecurities, the key element to beginning a new role is building a solid relationship with your manager. Regardless of the "rockstar" status you possess in your industry or with a previous job, your prestigious degree, or even the years of experience that fill your resume, your manager is the gateway to success in your new role. Some managers are better than others at nurturing a new employee. Right now, you're probably thinking of a time when you started a new job, and your direct supervisor was, for all intents and purposes, non-existent. Sidenote: If you are a manager and this describes you, take this bit of tough-love advice: Your employees deserve better than that. They need you. Be the manager you would want to work for. Take a moment to ponder that. Building a relationship with your new manager isn't complicated. It must be intentional, genuine, and built on a foundation of respect. As a new employee, ideally you should be spending some time with your manager every day for the first couple of weeks, even if only for a brief check-in. These meetings are ideal opportunities to jump-start the dialogue. Here are five simple conversations you need to have with your boss when you start a new role:

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It can be tough dealing with a hot-head boss. But how can you handle his or her hot temper and keep your cool at the same time? Related: 7 Things Your Boss Won’t Tell You If you missed quasi-celebrity and full-fledged entrepreneur boss Patti Stanger berating her stylist, then you don’t watch enough reality TV. And, you missed a great learning moment.

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Quitting a job – quitting well, at least – can be hard work. There are plenty of missteps you can make that can end up hurting your career in the long term. QUIZ: Should You Quit Your Job? Check out our list of things to avoid when breaking up with your boss.

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Modern times have changed a lot of things in our daily lives. We do not communicate the way we did two decades ago. Some may say that we are communicating even better, but at what cost? Just take a look at a present-day office environment and then one from 20 years back. You will see a major difference between them. This difference might be for the better in some ways, as fast communication has saved us time and increased efficiency. However, it has made it much harder to unify with colleagues the way we used to way back when. The lack of communication from one co-worker to another can be so much that while working in same office, we rarely meet people working in other departments, unless there's a work-related reason to. I support the use of technology in our daily lives and in the office, but we need to bridge the gap between employees that has been created because of our technology as well. The solution is simple: get your employees together more often, not for official issues to be discussed but for socializing. This creates a healthy family environment in the office that is without any doubt a major contributor to an efficient and happy workplace.

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NOTE: This is a book excerpt with minor edits from Mandatory Greatness: The 12 Laws Of Driving Exceptional Performance by J.T. O'Donnell and Dale Dauten. Choose “respected" over “liked." The love comes later. What was easier to like was a notion Yvonne called “golden seeds," a name that she said originated with Freud, and referred to some remark from a respected figure that gave a rising man or woman a new sense of self. She explained, “Rarely, however, do 'golden seeds' come in the form of an immediate career advice. Rather, they tend to change an individual's world by changing that person's self-regard, often in ways that take years to surface. Take Jim Evans, who was CEO of both Best Western Hotels and Jenny Craig." (He had sent her this story, so these are his own words …) “Early on in my career, I worked at the Ambassador Hotel in Chicago. It was run by Mr. Esprito, a legend in the business. One day he phoned me and told me to meet him in front of the hotel. I went out front and there he was, sitting in the hotel limo. "He waved me in, then told the driver to take us for a drive. He spent the trip asking me about myself - first about my work, then about my life. He even asked me if I was dating anyone. I told him about a Greek girl I'd been seeing, and then he wanted to know where I took her on dates. “This made no sense. I couldn't imagine why he wanted to know. But I answered, telling him, 'Restaurants and clubs, maybe a movie.' “He said, 'Oh, so you're one of them,' acting disappointed. “Confused, I asked what he meant. “'You do the usual things at the usual places.' Then he said, 'I think you're special. And special people should go to special places. Next time try something different, like going to a lecture at the public library. Do something special." Yvonne illuminated that story by saying, “Forget the dating advice and just imagine how either of the little sentences, 'I think you're special,' or 'Special people should go to special places' would get inside the head of a rookie executive. How could you not want to live up to that? And Jim Evans has spent his career 'living up,' in part because that 'golden seed' has served to remind him, time and again, how being an imitator is not good enough. He loves to tell the story and every time he does it reminds him not to give in to the lure of the ordinary, but rather, seek out the exceptional in himself and in those who work for him." “Hold on," she suddenly said. “I almost forgot why I wanted you to hear Jim's story. It wasn't just the golden seed, which is important, but that when Jim had that first meeting he was put off by it. Here was this older guy offering him dating advice. He was even a bit resentful and while he admired the man, he didn't particularly like him. Not then. Only much later did he realize the gift he'd been given that day. And that was the point: the love comes later. Mandatory Greatness is presented as a conversation between a high-powered business coach, Yvonne Wolfe (described as having “skirts of steel"), and a young manager who won a day of her coaching in a charity raffle. She observes him in his work, then offers a stark and startling analysis of him and his approach to his job: By imitating other managers he is making himself “a commodity product" destined for “inadvertent mediocrity." She then teaches him to remake himself into a highly-valued teammate and a true leader using The 12 Laws of Driving Exceptional Performance.

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