Dear Experts, My mom's killing my confidence. I just graduated in May and have been looking for full-time job non-stop. The industry I want to get into is not really hiring right now. I have a part-time job, but it's not paying all the bills. I have student loans and credit card debt. So, I'm living at home. My mom is really unhappy about it. She helped pay for school and just assumed I'd be out and not her financial responsibility by now. Every day she says mean things to me about how much of a burden this is. I'm doing my best, but her comments are making me feel stupid. I want to get out on my own, but it's financially impossible. Any suggestions on how I can hurry up the process because I'm starting to lose faith that I'll ever find a job and get out of the house. Here is how our T.A.P. experts answered this question:Q#320 Find roommate (or 6). Get out of that toxic cesspool. Need confidence in search. Love mom from a distance. (@dawnbugni) Q#320 Take it easy on her. She loves U & wants U 2 have a job for YOU, too. Sit. Talk. Compromise. (@beneubanks) Q#320 Research 'other' industries/companies via LinkedIn/Twitter/ZoomInfo; focus ur resume message on their needs. [1/2] (@ValueIntoWords) Q#320 Consider 2nd part-time job to boost income (e.g., temp srvcs);share apartment costs w/roommate; be creative. [2/2] (@ValueIntoWords) Q#320 Moving out forced me 2 do EVERYTHING 2 find job; it happnd fast; relying on parents not healthy 4 me. (@juliaerickson) Q#320 Been there; so hard! Had 2 expand network, lv no stone untrnd, take temp wrk, housesit, move out ASAP. (@juliaerickson) Q#320 First problem to address is your Mom. Have a heart-to-heart with her and explain how she is hurting your efforts. (@gradversity) Q#320 Surround yourself w/mentors! Seek daily conversations w/supportive people to offset mom's negativity. (@jtodonnell) Q#320 It's a shame that u feel that way. Speak 2 ur mom abt. her comments. Consider getting addl p/t work to pay bills. (@DebraWheatman) Q#320 The 2nd p/t job will help pay bills while u continue ur search. U must have a heart 2 heart w ur mom though. (@DebraWheatman) Our Twitter Advice Project (T.A.P.) is no longer an active campaign. To find an answer to the above question, please use the "Search" box in the right-hand column of this website.
Have you interviewed for a job and got caught off guard with the salary question? Do you struggle to identify a reasonable salary range that you feel comfortable with? If so, we're here to show you the right way to conduct salary research!
These days, the hiring manager or recruiter will most likely ask about your salary expectations in the first or early round of the interview process. If you aren’t ready for this conversation, it can make you look unprepared, diffident, or worse….costing you the entire job opportunity.
So, let's show you how to avoid that and talk about your desired salary with confidence!
In this training, you’ll learn how to:
- Figure out the correct sites to explore while doing salary research
- Identify the tools you need to figure out your market value
- Choose a salary range that you feel comfortable with
Join our CEO, J.T. O'Donnell, and Director of Training Development & Coaching, Christina Burgio, for this live event on Wednesday, September 28th at 12 pm ET.
CAN'T ATTEND LIVE? That's okay. You'll have access to the recording and the workbook after the session!
In my last article, I talked about an example of someone who was working 60 hours a week and then went through a big life event (like having a baby) and now only wants to work 40 hours a week. If you're in the same boat, how can you reset work expectations with your boss and still get a good performance review?
Here's my advice on how to successfully manage work expectations without hurting your career...
It's Usually Easier To Get A New Job Than Reset Work Expectations
@j.t.odonnell Replying to @carolinecc1 How to reset work expectations with your boss. #worktok#careertok#jobtok#careertiktok#careeradvice#quietquitting#quietquittingmyjob#career#job#learnontiktok#edutok#worklife#work#workmode#boss#expectations♬ original sound - J.T. O'Donnell
In my 20+ years of experience as a career coach, about 50% of the time it's just easier to get a new job if you're looking to reset work expectations at your current job. At a new job, you can set your ideal expectations from the get-go.
But if you really like where you are right now and want to stay there, follow the three steps below to reset your work expectations.
How To Successfully Reset Work Expectations With Your Boss (If You Want To Stay)Bigstock
Step #1: Do Some Homework
Get out a piece of paper and create three columns. In column #1, list all the things you were hired to do, looking back at the job description for your role if you have to. In column #2, list everything that you've taken on since then because if you're working 60 hours a week, you've taken on a lot of additional responsibility. Then, in column #3, think of one or two things that you could take off your boss's plate. Something that's a real headache to them that if you took it off their plate, you'd be super valuable to them.
Step #2: Meet With Your Boss
Next, set up a one-on-one meeting with your boss. Type up your three-column list, sit down with your boss, and have a conversation. Here's an example of what you could say...
"When I first started at this company, I was working 60 hours a week to get myself up to a level of value. But now, as you know, I've had this life event and I really want to stick to 40 hours a week but continue to give you a high level of value. So here's what I figured out. Here are all the things I was hired to do in column #1. Here are all the additional things I'm now doing in column #2. And here are some things that I would love to do for you to make your life easier in column #3. But in order for me to do that, we'd have to take a couple of things off my plate in column #1 that maybe somebody else with more junior skills could handle."
This is how you begin the conversation. Now, as a bonus, I would suggest you go through and list how many hours a week you do each task in columns one, two, and three, and add them up to show your boss how all of those tasks take over 40 hours to complete. And if you could move things around together, what would they want you to work on? What would be the highest payoff activities for your 40 hours?
Step #3: Update Your Boss On Your Progress
The final step is to give your boss some time to review this information. Then once they approve your new work expectations, you are going to regularly update them on your progress. Communicate with them about what you're getting done in 40 hours. Market yourself because that's what people forget to do. They forget to market their value and prove to the employer that they're working smarter, not harder—without having to do it in extra time.
Once you shift this perception, you're going to see great results. A lot of times managers don't realize how much you're doing and, upon seeing this list, will reset your work expectations for you. But it's on you to bring up your concerns and try to find a solution where both of you are happy.
Need more help with your career?
I'd love it if you signed up for Work It Daily's Power Hour Event Subscription! I look forward to answering all of your career questions in our next live event!
How do you know if you understand something?
I am a non-technical person working in an IT company. My colleagues will often tell me something technical. Sometimes I understand what they are saying. Sometimes I have no idea what they are talking about. Sometimes I think I understand what they are telling me when they are telling me, but then later I realize that I don’t understand it at all.
Understanding is complex. As communicators and trainers, we need to think about how understanding works to communicate and train effectively.
We are all communicators and trainers at one time or another.
What Is Understanding?
A quick Google search of “understanding” does not provide a clear answer.
Researchgate, quoting “Newton, 2000,” says, “Understanding implies being able to think, act and apply the knowledge in different ways in various situations.”
Robert Ryshke, writing in “gse.harvard.edu,” states, “Understanding a topic of study is a matter of being able to perform in a variety of thought-demanding ways with the topic.”
Artseducator.org says something very similar: “Understanding is a matter of being able to do a variety of thought-provoking things with a topic.”
Let’s Ask Again: How Do You Know If You Understand Something?
If someone explains something to you and then asks you if you understand it, you will probably reply based on how you feel.
As a trainer, you may well look at your trainees’ faces to see if they understand the material. When they don’t understand, they may look uncertain or give you the “What are you talking about?” look. (My two-year-old niece is very good at that!)
The feeling that you understand is sometimes deceptive. This is why educators use “output activities” or tests to see if trainees really understand.
How Can We Test Understanding?
The worst thing you can do is ask: “Do you understand?” It puts the burden of understanding on the trainee. If he doesn’t understand, it’s the trainer’s fault. She needs to explain the content in a different way.
When learning in groups, trainees may not say they do not understand for fear of looking stupid in front of their colleagues.
There are a number of options you can build into your training plan. These options are based on Wiggins and McTighe’s “6 Facets of Understanding”:
- Ability to explain the content: This has to be more than just repeating the material verbatim. Let’s imagine you are teaching sales agents a new sales script. If your trainees create a mind map to explain the material they received in a PowerPoint presentation, they are reformatting the information and engaging with it at a deeper level than they would by repeating it.
- Interpreting the content: To see how well your agents might understand the sales script, ask them to explain it to their colleagues as if the other person was five years old, their grandmother, or to an alien from another planet. Their challenge is to explain it to someone who does not have the same contextual knowledge that they do.
- Applying the content: When teaching your sales team the new script, this will include getting them to role play it. One trainee will be the salesperson and the other the customer. Role plays can include “what would you do if…?” scenarios to practice dealing with different types of customers and handling different objections.
- Having a perspective based on the content: You can build this into the role plays by asking the “customer” to play a specific kind of customer and behave as this kind of person might behave. In a business-to-consumer scenario, this might involve playing roles representing different demographics. In a business-to-business context, this might mean playing the roles of customers in different verticals who have different requirements and different ways of behaving. Builders have different needs and behave in different ways from bankers.
- Empathize: When adopting roles in the role-play training, ask trainees to imagine how customers might feel and put those emotions into the training. This could include angry and aggressive customers. This gives trainees playing the salesperson’s role the chance to test their skills in handling an angry customer, while it gives the trainee playing the “angry customer” the chance to imagine how the angry customer is feeling, and adjust how she handles him accordingly.
- Have self-knowledge: Some trainees may find this uncomfortable since trainees need to examine their own reactions and feelings towards the content. For salespeople, particularly after they have role-played a demanding conversation, this may help them to understand and manage their own emotional responses when facing, for example, angry customers.
The Ball’s In Your Court!
Are you planning some training? How do you know that you understand the content well enough to train it? What questions are you afraid people will ask? How do you plan to test your trainees’ understanding?
I’d love to hear more about it! Drop me a line!
The following article may be both relevant and useful: Explaining How Things Work: How To Do It And Why It Matters