Back when I worked in banking, as the Assistant Manager of a branch, I wore a mask. No, not literally, you silly goose. After all, banks and masks don’t go well together if you know what I mean…but I hid all the same.
I was hiding behind an image of who I thought I should be, who I thought others wanted me to be. I didn’t show the “real me” because I was scared. Something inside me said I didn’t belong there. If people knew who I was, deep down, they wouldn’t respect me, they wouldn’t trust me, they wouldn’t listen to me.
I was just a kid!!! I had no idea what I was doing!!! I cried at night when I was alone. I felt overwhelmed and lost and out-of-control. I never balanced my checkbook, I forgot birthdays, I obsessed about boys. Who was I to “manage” anything???
I wasn’t even certain of who the “real me” was...
So I faked it. I pretended to be someone else--someone who had her life together. Someone who didn’t make work personal. Someone who barked orders and never backed down and refused to get close to anyone.
And you know what happened? I became a person I hated.
I thought this was just what people did at work. They acted. They didn’t show themselves because that would be weak. They didn’t make real connections with people because they would never take you seriously again. They never, ever showed their human side.
I was naïve, back then, in so many ways.
And when I finally left the bank (probably a year later than I should have…) I vowed never to make the same mistakes.
In my next job, as an executive assistant, I wanted to be the REAL, no-holds-barred CHRISSY. I wanted to be friends with everyone. I wanted to make everyone love me.
Turns out, that too is the wrong way to go.
So, once again, I changed my strategy.
I’ve never claimed to be perfect—not by a long shot—but I’ve learned a thing or two over the years.
I know there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about creating relationships in the workplace. I know there’s a middle ground in there, where you can be authentic and true to yourself without going too far. And where you can be respected and trusted and listened to even if you’re not perfect. You don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to hide.
You can create real, lasting authentic relationships in the workplace. I’m not talking about “friendships.” There’s a difference. Most people don’t really understand how to do this. And, like me, they end up with an inappropriate amount of distance—they’re too close to or too detached from their colleagues.
If this sounds all too familiar to you, I’d like to invite you to join me for a 4-part webinar series. During these four training sessions, I’m going to teach you the communication strategies and techniques you need to know in order to build and leverage the right kind of professional relationships—the kind that make you feel good about yourself and what you’re doing. The kind that allow others to respect you and, at the same time, enjoy being around you.
The best part? This series is very affordably priced. I know how important this topic is to your personal satisfaction at work and to your career success; I don’t want ANYONE to pass it up because of money issues.
You can learn more about the series and sign-up here.
Chrissy Scivicque (pronounced “Civic”), founder of Eat Your Career, is an award-winning freelance writer/editor with a passion for two things: food and helping others. Please visit her website and download her FREE mini-workbook called, "How Nourishing is YOUR Career?"
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There you are: sitting on the beach, covered in sunscreen, reading your favorite book, drinking your favorite drink under the cool shade of an umbrella. Life doesn't get any better than this. Suddenly, a door slams, a phone rings, a printer turns on. You jolt back into consciousness. You're at work, sitting in your cubicle, without even a hint of sunshine streaming in from outside.
When you're working a full-time job, finding time to enjoy the warm, bright summer weather can be a challenge. This is especially true for young professionals, as many of them are used to having summers off (or, at the very least, having a flexible summer schedule). But there's no need to feel trapped behind your cubicle walls. Go out and enjoy summer!
Here are a few tips for making the most of your summer while working full time.
1. Grab Some Foldable Chairs
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Keep a couple of foldable camping chairs at the office so you and a co-worker can catch some rays during lunch—whether it's in the park or the parking lot.
2. Keep A Beach Bag In Your Car
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Keep a bag full of summer supplies for your favorite summer activities. Having a bag (or, in my case, a backseat) full of towels, sunscreen, and swimwear keeps you prepared for anything. Friends hitting up the pool after work? You're covered. Once the clock strikes five, you can head to your destination of choice immediately.
3. Plan An Office Outing
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Plan an office field trip to the beach, the park, or the pool. Just do something fun so your brain can recharge and refresh!
4. Organize Group Walks
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Get a bunch of co-workers together and go on regular walks around town during lunch. (Or you could suggest a quick jaunt over to the ice cream shop.) This is a great way to get some fresh air, sunshine, and exercise.
5. Eat Lunch At The Park
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When you find yourself eating out, hit up places with a deck, porch, or patio of some sort. Obviously, eating out every day isn't really a feasible option for most of us, so look into alternative ideas as well. Pack a lunch and hit the park for your own little picnic.
6. Organize Office Sports
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Whether it's setting up an official office sports team or just hanging out with your colleagues a few times a week, playing sports is a great way to get out and enjoy the weather. Have a field nearby? Try setting up some slow-pitch softball games. Or see if you can get a basketball hoop for the office so you and a few co-workers can shoot some hoops at lunch.
7. Join A Professional Group
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During the summer, professional networking groups often have fun events like harbor cruises, pub crawls, and outdoor mixers. Find a professional group in your area and make networking fun this summer.
8. Have An Office BBQ
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Get your grill on! Talk to your boss about setting up an office BBQ. Ask everyone to contribute their favorite dish, side, or drink. Fire up the grill and relax! Hey, it's summer after all.
9. Wake Up Early
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Yes, yes, I know...waking up early is an incredibly painful and unbearable experience for some of us, but waking up even an hour earlier has its benefits—especially in the summer. Go for a morning run, putter around in the garden, or watch the sunrise with a loved one. Talk about starting the day off right!
10. Strategically Use Your Time Off
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Strategically use your vacation days around holidays. This way, you can make a potentially long weekend longer without having to use too much of your precious vacation time. Half days are also pretty awesome. It's amazing how much you can do with four extra hours! If you want an early weekend but don't want to burn up your vacation days too quickly, try taking a half day on a Friday instead of using a full day off.
11. Bike To Work
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If you're one of the lucky few who live within walking or biking distance of work, take advantage of it! Not only will you get plenty of fresh air, but you'll also save money on gas, which is always a plus!
There are plenty of easy ways to enjoy summer when you work a full-time job. So this summer, try out a few of these ideas and make the most of the sunshine and warm weather—while they're still around!
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