My Boss Is Having An Affair (And, I Can't Stand It!)

Think your boss is having an affair? You’re not alone. Today, career experts J.T. O’Donnell and Dale Dauten tackle the following question from a reader...


Dear J.T. and Dale,

I think my boss is sleeping with someone on my team. They go to lunch off-site everyday. He is married and she is 10 years younger. I am totally annoyed by them and find it difficult to do my work. I don’t think I can stand this much longer.

- Camile

Although it might not seem like a big issue, a situation like this can impact the team. “If it’s THAT obvious, it is distracting,” said O’Donnell. “He’s playing favorites, let’s face it.” This kind of situation happens all of the time. So, what can you do about it? According to Dauten, it’s all about focusing on you. “This is a chance to practice some office discipline,” said Dauten. “It’s a skill to ignore what’s going on around you and just focus on your work.” According to O'Donnell, this kind of thing isn't rare. “In my experience, they eventually blow over, they don’t last, and somebody ends up leaving,” she said. Whether it’s the manager or this other individual, someone will likely end up leaving the company. This can actually present an opportunity for someone else within the company to get a promotion if they stick around long enough to see it through. However, you have to decide whether this is the kind of environment you want to work in everyday. This kind of behavior can actually be a sign of other questionable activities happening at the company. “It just feels like questionable ethics here,” said O’Donnell. “If this kind of thing is going on, what else is going on in the company?” If that’s happening at your company, there might be other stuff that’s happening under the radar that you want to be careful of, warned O’Donnell. So, think your boss is having an affair? You need to decide whether you’re just going to ignore it or look for a new work environment.

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