Unemployed During The Holidays? 7 Stages You'll Go Through To Cope

How do you cope with being unemployed during the holidays? Like any loss, a job loss results in grief. Inevitably you must mourn the loss of the job and all that it provided: Security, money, self-esteem, status, identity, etc. I like this model for dealing with loss that is similar to the traditional Kubler-Ross Model, but provides 7 stages for moving BEYOND the grief. In Part I an overview of the grieving process as it relates to the loss of a job. Part II will give suggestions for how to enhance your transition through the process. 1. SHOCK & DENIAL In this stage you will feel generally numb – this serves as a coping mechanism to protect you from what may be potentially overwhelming. If you recently have lost your job you may be unable to think about how you feel about that, what you will do, and so forth. This stage keeps you moving forward physically and ensures you will meet all your basic needs. 2. PAIN & GUILT Pain and heart-break are laced with guilt in this stage. You may relate it to a lost love from which you suffer and know it must be that you are not worthy or must have deserved it. 3. ANGER & BARGAINING Anger is normal. You may reach this stage pretty quickly after a job loss, whether through lay-off, illness, injury or takeover. Accept this, express it, but be mindful how you do so – you may need the help of those closest to you most during the next days, weeks, and/or months. 4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS It is important for you to “feel” how you feel – you are likely to feel depressed and lonely. You are cut off from your normal social support, however helpful it was. The bottom line is that just the act of getting up and dressed and out to work every day and interacting with others gives you some social and emotional support that is seriously felt to be missing at this point. You should allow these feelings, recognize them and think about what you need going forward. 5. THE UPWARD TURN Eventually you will attain a rhythm in your job search and networking and will feel some sort of calm and organization. You may flash back occasionally to feelings of guilt when you realize this. Understand that this is the first step in moving beyond your grief from the loss of your job and that it is entirely NORMAL. 6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH As you begin the upward turn, you will eventually be able to think about where you want to be and what type of job you might like to have. For many this is the first time they have had the opportunity to consider what type of job they might like to do and/or what they ENJOY. Many note that the lay-off, downsizing, job change was the best thing that could have happened because it forced them to look at what is out there relative to what they had to offer. 7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE Eventually, you will be able to accept that you may not be the same exact person you were before your “loss”, but somehow you are the best you can be and you have made the most of what life has to offer. You are able to move forward, seeking and finding other employment opportunities. It isn’t easy, but it is possible, even if it doesn’t seem so right now. If you want some general tips on what to do if you lose your job you might like to read a prior article, You lost your job. Now what? Mary is a Masters-prepared Career Counselor with over 18 years experience in resume writing, personal branding, career assessment and counseling. Specializing in non-traditional specialized careers and career-transitioning, she has the ability to synthesize and focus your unique skills and abilities to obtain interviews for the positions you want with the employers you want to notice you. Follow her on Twitter at @MarySevinsky.

If you saw our first video, you might have heard about the awkward situation one of our viewers, Diane submitted. She has recently worked with a co-worker on a group project. When it came time to present the project at a meeting, Diane let her co-worker present. While it went great, the co-worker proceed to take credit for nearly all of Diane's work. Frustrating to say the least!

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In this week's episode of "Well This Happened", we want to know what you would do if your co-worker took credit for the work you did...right in front of your colleagues AND boss!

We want YOU to be the career coach and tell us which one is the RIGHT answer!

Think you know? Vote below, and stay tuned for later this week when we announce the right answer (and why the other ones are wrong).

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In this week's episode of "Well This Happened", we want to know what you would do if witnessed a hiring manager at your organization making fun of a candidate who they had just interviewed who had autism.

We want YOU to be the career coach and tell us which one is the RIGHT answer!

Think you know? Vote below, and stay tuned for later this week when we announce the right answer (and why the other ones are wrong).

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Fortunately, some companies have generous paternity leave policies that give new dads the ability to take time off of work to stay home with their child.

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During our weekly live Office Hours on YouTube, two of our coaches, Ariella Coombs and J.T. O'Donnell, answer questions live from viewers related to their job search, career success, on the job situations and more.

We complied a simple list of what we find to be the most common questions our coaches get about resumes. We hope you find this helpful.

Let's start with the basics...

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Back in March, we made the hard decision to change our private Facebook group of over 37 THOUSAND members to a fee-based only platform.

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In this week's episode of "Well This Happened", we want to know what you would do if a recruiter called you a day EARLY for your phone interview (and you were NOT PREPARED!)

We want YOU to be the career coach and tell us which one is the RIGHT answer!

Think you know? Vote below, and stay tuned for later this week when we announce the right answer (and why the other ones are wrong).

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