There's a saying that “holding onto anger is like drinking poison and hoping someone else will die.” This couldn’t apply more for the over 40 and unemployed or long term unemployed. Many people are willing to tell you what to do when moving forward in your job search with little understanding or regard for circumstances of the reason you are out there looking. Whether you left quietly or went all “Jerry Maguire” on your ex-employer when you were terminated or laid off, you have unresolved emotions like confusion, anger, hurt, and bitterness. This is the “poison” you are drinking.
The REAL Reason You're Still UnemployedThese unresolved emotions are affecting your ability to get hired whether you realize it or not. When you have questions about why you are unemployed it is hard to be focused on getting hired. When you attend an interview it comes out in your answers. When you don’t get yet another job, your situation deepens. When you end up being unemployed longer than you had planned it gets magnified. And the cycle continues. You need to STOP doing what you are doing - right now. Stop feeding this beast of anxiety, confusion, shame, and depression by continuing to apply for job after job and not getting the result you are looking for - to get hired. Once you have stopped what isn’t working I want you to find a friend, a spouse, or a confidant and talk to them about the way you feel. It’s time to bury the past and find resolution. You won’t be able to get answers from your previous employers or companies that have chosen not to select you, but I want you to find confidence in the things you can control. The things you love and want to do, the value you bring and what you require in return from a company to be successful, long term. You need to forgive the people that are responsible for your “current” situation. Deal with your emotions, forgive them and then tie a bow around it and put it in the past. Make a promise to yourself that “they” can and will not affect your job search. Do your own “internal shuffle” and take the power you are giving them back and invest it in yourself.
“To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.” - ConfuciusPhoto Credit: Shutterstock